Being a man in his 20’s, now i really feel how screwed up i am in this big fucking world.
what the society does, what the society expect, has apparently degraded myself into being a really insecure little boy who can probably never make it in this world.
a boy, who still has his own dream, of educating people, of making a better system for his country, of making his parents proud.
but as people will always say that “with huge dream, come a massive responsibility”.
and adding on into that already head spinning responsibilities is this evil expectation of the society.
expectation that came from my culture, from my friends, from the strangers that walked pass me in the mall and i might never see again, and ultimately from my own family.
“The images of the unconscious place a great responsibility upon a man. Failure to understand them, to a shirking of ethical responsibility, deprives him of his wholeness and imposes a painful fragmentariness on his life” – Carl Jung
we have been conditioned a lot, and rather successfully by the society on how to be a man.
on how to be financially successful and responsible, to be able to fund your family, to be successful, to gain a respectable status on the society.
the kind of thing that you’ll only get with those doctoral, business, or scientific triumph.
well i guess its fair enough, since who don’t want to be financially successful anyway ?
you’ll just have to struggle through your academic life, get a job, then get that bloody money.
but honestly, if i do have the right to have a say on my own life
i hate these things
i hate that i can’t have my own dream.
i hate that even when i can dream, i have to have this huge fear of the society looking at me as if i just step into the dark side for not fulfilling their expected man role.
i hate that i always have to think that by not caring about it, i has became a dysfunctional man who are corrupted by his ideology and is so faulty that i am not worth anybody’s time.
i do realise that whatever that i do, if i can somehow make it and meet some sort of success in that field, they will still respect me, they won’t see me with that sinister glance anymore.
but now, in this time, one day before my exam, halfway through my uni, the society has taken a better man of me.
they have successfully pulled me away from my dream and makes me feel useless.
thinking that i should have just go with their thoughts.
with their norm.
its like now my dream and society are having a fight to win my life goal
but you know what, society, fuck you
fuck you and your money
fuck you and your perception of success
just fuck fuck fuck and fuck
i guess, what this shitty writing is trying to say is that
fuck the society
bet on your dreams
and do whatever it is that you think you’ll need to do
ultimately, only you and you only can understand what kind of person you want to be
not those “society” of bastards.